Betty ford says i'm here all night
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
