i permit you to call me
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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