my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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