i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
