not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
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This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
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How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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