i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize