your room smells of hookers.
And success
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
