I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
