He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
