we're blogging at a bar
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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