left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
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