Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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