yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
