Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize