Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
