He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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