guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
accomplished twins. life is a go
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
