It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
