Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
