white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
