I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize