the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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