So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Too much gin, very little bucket
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
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Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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