My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize