the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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