I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
