Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
