You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
from now on my penis is your penis
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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