I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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