My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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