They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
