you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
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