i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
