We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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