Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
