That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
