so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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