Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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