I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?