You're completely useless in the revolution.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.