As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
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Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
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Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.