They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
