I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen