Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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