I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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