Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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