two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
