I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
