do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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