If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
