dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
