All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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