I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
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