In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Boobs speak an international language.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
