Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
