I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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