I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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