I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
