Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
