we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
