oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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