hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
