Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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