Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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