hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
So here I am, sexting at work.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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