His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
