K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
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she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Vodka?
Forever.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
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She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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