I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I have post one night stand depression
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