I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
and you fell through a lawn chair
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
