You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
