im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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