I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
